Friday, 17 October 2008


*cough* so...maybe one of you could let us know personally next time? When is the next BHH? The 30th? And yes, sorry, but honestly people! antipop you whore, how could you have managed to not even mention it!!

Saturday, 11 October 2008

Heard of Hygiene?

Guess where I am...can you guess? Let me give you a hint, there are some fucking ugly birds flying overhead...


I'm not going to get sick of this place, even though there is some small spot of dirt on my skirt!! How dare this country dirty my clothes!!! Where's my bomb got to?!?!?! Other than that horrifically huge shortcoming this place is COOOOOL. I'm so never leaving...okay so I am at some point going to have to go home, you know what relatives can be like.

Overall impressions of Uganda: Freaking Motherfucking Awesome!! I'm becoming an illegal immigrant.

Whoever said this country is hot is fucking lying whore.

I'm racist. Every time I see another White person I get quite irritated, mainly because they're either all over 40 or fat, wobbly, sweat covered and bright red with dirty hair!!! You there, White person, HOW FUCKING DARE YOU!!! What kind of representation is that?? I'm ashamed to be associated with you people! Where the fuck is your hair brush? Shampoo? Conditioner? Sunscreen? Beetroot is only an acceptable shade when it's over 40c. And what the hell are you wearing? You would never be seen dead in those clothes back home!! Don't you understand that when you go overseas you are representing your country, culture and people? Don't shame me by going outside with three weeks of dirt caked to your hair! You disgust me! Stop wasting your money on those beggars and go buy some fucking soap!

I'm seeing Antipop this afternoon....I feel so honoured.

Sunday, 5 October 2008


Where prehistoric birds adorn lamp posts, where Antipop is President and where Dreadlocked Communists and Bald Children roam, free range, across the country side...

To the magical land of Uganda I come.

Someone owes me a drink.

Friday, 3 October 2008

Fun Times!

I have Glandular Fever.

It sucks.

For people asking, I leave on Sunday midnight (Monday) and arrive on Tuesday afternoon.


Poor Dark Night, I forced him all the way to Wikipedia to discover what Glandular Fever is...sucker :-)

Glandular Fever is Infectious mononucleosis, also known as Pfeiffer's disease, mono, in that dumb country (USA), all the intelligent people call it Glandular Fever.

It has various symptoms, of those these are the pesky ones I have:

Fever—this varies, but is seen in nearly all cases.
Enlarged and tender lymph nodes—particularly the posterior cervical lymph nodes.
Sore throat—White patches on the tonsils and back of the throat are often seen
(Yes there are white patches, I got my torch and shone it down my throat and was like "Ewwwwwwwww what the fuck is that??" I even got a cotton tip to see if the white stuff could be scraped can't. I'm pissed. MY TONSILS ARE TURNING WHITE!!! What the fuck do they think they're doing?? I AM ALREADY WHITE!!! To my Tonsils: You can't turn white, we're already white and you are not, under any circumstances allowed to pull a Michael Jackson!!!!)
Aching muscles (On Monday I couldn't actually move, or at least I got to the couch and then couldn't get up again)
Loss of appetite (Well there goes that Ugandan weight, sorry Carlo)
Dizziness or disorientation (Not fun to have in the city)
Inability to swallow, due to enlarged tonsils (Can I have a bucket please?)
Dry cough (This list just got boring)

I know who gave this to me too, it was Ginger...I mean I knew she didn't want me to go very much but this is evil. My hat's off to you! Wish I'd thought of this when my friend left, could have made them stay for ages longer. But no cigar my dear, I'm going anyway, I'll just not be allowed to kiss anyone until it's gone, so two weeks - a few months. I'm sorry Chanel, looks like we'll have to post-pone our date.

@Kakaire: My paws are greasier than yours.