Sunday, 31 August 2008

KT - Hay gurl Do u kno what, i was thinking it wuld b such a shame if didn spend atleast 1 night 2getha hay

11:43:59am 29th/08/2008

Why did I just find this in my drafts and who is KT??

Saturday, 30 August 2008

Mateos From My Floor

Literally five minutes ago Uganda was on the tv. There I was sitting on the floor in front of the couch and this ad came on for a program called Family Footsteps (7:30pm Thursday ABC).

So the ad starts with this crowded road full of Africans and I went "Hey Mum, look, UGANDA!!"
And she glares at me for disturbing the peace and asks how I know. I shrug. Haven't got a clue how I knew. I just did. And I was bloody right to! As the ad progresses and they stop showing Ugandan infested roads the voice over comes on and "Blah blah, Uganda, blah." And I smile, radiating smugness for knowing it was Uganda after a split second.

It continues to show this half Ugandan man who left for Australia when he was three years old and blah blah blah and you'll never guess what happened next :P

I bounced right off the floor, pointing out the tv and practically screeched to my Mother, "look, LOOK! It's Mateos!!!" LOOOK MUM!!!! LOOK!!"

Anyway, apart from the fact that I'm a fucking genius for picking out Uganda in a split second out of all the possible African countries it could have been, I bought my tickets.

And Antipop, I'll get my hands on another season of My Family for you, so you better frickin have access to a tv etc.

Comrade, I have Kundun, Amelie and Hey Hey It's Esther Blueburger for your veiwing pleasure.

Thursday, 28 August 2008

Drugged to Delirium

*crawls pitifully back to Blogger*

Sorry. Been away. Been dying. Had a psycho bout of influenza. I won't tell you about it but suffice to say it was so bad I called Him up and cried into the phone and asked if he could swing by and kill me. End my miserable suffering. Most of the time I was so weak I couldn't even get out of bed.

Moving on now :D

A couple of months ago I managed to slam my head so hard into a door, no, don't ask what I was doing, I broke my nose. Thankfully it's barely noticeable. Second time I've broken it actually. First time my best-friend's sister slammed a baseball bat in the my face. Nose is still in centre. Looks normal. Feels sore. Aches. Still got a red tinge to the skin, like slight sunburn. Doctor says it will fade within a couple more months and so should my headaches, and Doctor is right because both have already subsided.

I'm back now. Tell you fun stuff on my next post.

Sleep well.

And remember the golden rule, if you're being bitten by fleas at night, kill one and the rest will go to its funeral.

Wednesday, 6 August 2008

I Always Wanted To Be A Child Soldier

I used to have a rule about not dating anyone with brown eyes. Casual sex with a brown eyed person was fine but emotional attachment was not. With emotional attachment comes that remote and horrific possibility of a child and I decided long ago that if I had to have one of those irritating, sticky, wanting, needy, grasping, money thieving disgustoids in human form that it would be one with blue eyes.

Yes, I do understand the colloquial meaning of shallow.

I have a thing for blue eyes, I also have a thing for dark, curly red hair, but that's beside the point. If you took a look at my line of previous boyfriends the term, Aryan Race, might spring to mind. As a child I even had a thing for the Hitler Youth. Well, the cute ones from WWII movies, not the actual ones, the real Hitler Youth's hair was always too short, I thought they frowned too much and the pictures of them were always black and white and grainy. Not acceptable for a pin up.

So there I was, dating an Aryan boy, he was so white he was practically translucent and I was happy in the knowledge that if things fucked up and I didn't want to abort then at least the brat would be a blue eyed brat. Obviously by cutting out brown eyed people from my dating range that included every race that is not Caucasian and every Caucasian that is not blue eyed. One of my friends said that was totally racist but actually it isn't racist, it's race related, but not racist.

My Mother has always wanted a grandchild. She had a plan for me that involved children, amongst other things and since I wanted to please her I went along with it. All our family had blue eyes, until my generation, all my cousins have brown eyes, except me and my Mother always thought it would be sad if I didn't continue on the blue eyes, so I went along with that specification too. In fact I went along with pretty much everything she wanted but frankly Aryan boys, as cute as I think they may be, are not for me. Though I do really like blue eyes and think they are very pretty what I really like are Japanese boys, boys with turbans, Sri Lankan boys, Maori boys and Eastern and Southern African boys.

Of course I'd never say no to a good looking German, Serbian or New Zealand boy, but I think that may have more to do with their kick-arse accent!

Don't want to dissapoint my Mother though by giving her a brown eyed baby, so I'll call a compromise and give her no baby. So now Blogren, let us raise our glasses and toast to NO evil, manipulative, minature DeTambles slutting themselves around the place!


Bakashaba Ruhanga Owomwiguru Kubahereza Yabahereza DeTamble