I Always Wanted To Be A Child Soldier

I used to have a rule about not dating anyone with brown eyes. Casual sex with a brown eyed person was fine but emotional attachment was not. With emotional attachment comes that remote and horrific possibility of a child and I decided long ago that if I had to have one of those irritating, sticky, wanting, needy, grasping, money thieving disgustoids in human form that it would be one with blue eyes.

Yes, I do understand the colloquial meaning of shallow.

I have a thing for blue eyes, I also have a thing for dark, curly red hair, but that's beside the point. If you took a look at my line of previous boyfriends the term, Aryan Race, might spring to mind. As a child I even had a thing for the Hitler Youth. Well, the cute ones from WWII movies, not the actual ones, the real Hitler Youth's hair was always too short, I thought they frowned too much and the pictures of them were always black and white and grainy. Not acceptable for a pin up.

So there I was, dating an Aryan boy, he was so white he was practically translucent and I was happy in the knowledge that if things fucked up and I didn't want to abort then at least the brat would be a blue eyed brat. Obviously by cutting out brown eyed people from my dating range that included every race that is not Caucasian and every Caucasian that is not blue eyed. One of my friends said that was totally racist but actually it isn't racist, it's race related, but not racist.

My Mother has always wanted a grandchild. She had a plan for me that involved children, amongst other things and since I wanted to please her I went along with it. All our family had blue eyes, until my generation, all my cousins have brown eyes, except me and my Mother always thought it would be sad if I didn't continue on the blue eyes, so I went along with that specification too. In fact I went along with pretty much everything she wanted but frankly Aryan boys, as cute as I think they may be, are not for me. Though I do really like blue eyes and think they are very pretty what I really like are Japanese boys, boys with turbans, Sri Lankan boys, Maori boys and Eastern and Southern African boys.

Of course I'd never say no to a good looking German, Serbian or New Zealand boy, but I think that may have more to do with their kick-arse accent!

Don't want to dissapoint my Mother though by giving her a brown eyed baby, so I'll call a compromise and give her no baby. So now Blogren, let us raise our glasses and toast to NO evil, manipulative, minature DeTambles slutting themselves around the place!

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Bakashaba Ruhanga Owomwiguru Kubahereza Yabahereza DeTamble