Monday, 1 September 2008

Everyday White Trash

I showed up at work today and was presented with a...a...OH GOD IT WAS AWFUL!!!

They gave me a white cap to wear that said 'Everyday Money' on it. See, Woolies, yes, I am ashamed, I work at Woolies. That platypus killing, bush destroying, evil corporate, selfish, bastardised, community fucking, slavery riding, profit scamming, hell hole dictatorship they call a business. And this business, like Tomas de Torquemada in green, has made their very own credit card. Hence the cap, not only do we have to use our head as advertising space but we're also supposed to ask every single customer if they would like one of these debt inducing Everyday Money credit cards. Of course I did not ask a single person. I do have morals you know!!

But this cap. It's huge. And I was seething about having to wear it. I don't do caps. Do I look like a stupid cap wearing gangsta to you? No, I didn't think so! In fact I had to stop hanging out with those Zimbabweans because their constant cap usage was tarnishing my otherwise impeccable reputation. I can't be seen with people who wear caps. By the way, Comrade, if you dare to wear a cap in my presence you can bet your black squashy nose you will be punched. Don't. Tempt. Me.

I was sulking. Hardcore. About this crap-reputation-image-damaging cap I was being forced to wear. I spent two full hours sulking until one of the girls I work with, who didn't have to wear one because she isn't a checkout bitch like me, said it looked like it could be a truckie cap. So I made the horn sign and she cracked up, which made me slightly happier. Only slightly mind. Wazza came by and made some stupid gangsta joke. I pulled some dumb gang sign and said 'sup nigga with one of the stupid pouts they put on when they try to look cool. And then it came to me, something to make me happy. I'm a gonna steal that stupid cap, cross out money and write White Trash instead.


  1. Yes you did. Twice in fact. You greedy little goat.

  2. all those profanities come naturally to you? i have to think for a month to come up with all that stuff! so are you applying for an everyday credit card?

  3. Ha antipop,

    she is not. Not after this rant, which I am going to mail to the store's people.

    deT, [sternly], you do not dice the hand that feeds you. Smile and smile, it may look like a snarl from under that cap. So smile, poor white trash.

    and speaking about rants, I have dissed you over there at my blog. Am sure you have already seen it, but, well, one never knows with you.


  4. Get the credit card, have it with no limit and mail it to me.

  5. Hmm. Not convinced still.
    This anger still sounds feigned...

  6. Me I'm still waiting for you to quit all that work, get here in Ug, and we'll have a huge party at my place in honour of DeT. Oops! Did I just shoot my mouth off? Ah well, we'll pool our finances and have a huge Ugandan party. I'm offering a venue. Isn't that enough? Sheesh!

  7. i'm with princess... the rant isn't a proper detamble rant... are there any cute guys you work with who can make it a bit better for you when you flirt away?

    we are having a party when she gets here? and are we going to have intellectual discussions there carlo?

  8. [sniff, sniff]

    she has been sick. She is allowed to be off colour. Just this once!

    But it was amazing how long it did take to get her goat, when I was trying my damndest.

    Hey, you have started me swearing now! Amazing.

  9. "That platypus killing, bush destroying, evil corporate, selfish, bastardised, community fucking, slavery riding, profit scamming, hell hole dictatorship they call a business."

    Wow. A definition of Capitalism that totally eclipses anything anybody else could have dreamt up. Genius.

  10. tee hee!!

    i am still trying to picture you with a cap.

    not working.

    gangsta trucker?

  11. @Antipopikins: Well...I did have to think for a minute and half and ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! No credit card for me and certainly not one from that disgusting company.

    @Cheri: I'm not completely insane.

    @Tandra: She is and one day she will fall for someone as evil as she is and she'll get a taste of her own medicine...or failing that she'll just have huge credit debt :P

    @Princess: Yeah, wasn't too angry, more irritated but you see they've broken my spirit.

    @Carlo: Really? Really? Really? OH YEAH!!! And can I try waragi? Oh please'm, please! PLEASE!! *falls to knees* PLEEEEEAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!

    @Sybella: No :-( I'm tired of flirting, getting harrassed too much by certain boys and I just want to...erm, nevermind but I don't have time to flirt. And I don't want to start anything since I'm leaving in 31 days!

    I want to have a party! We can discuss intellectual things and NOT invite CB!!!!!!!!!!!

    @27th: *gloats* Thank ye Revence.

    @31337: I'll bring the cap home next week and picture it.