Tuesday 30 September 2008

Exportation




I've started a company. It's called DeTamble Exports. My first job is to export myself.

I leave on Sunday.

Apart from that I've been busy these past few weeks, hence the lack of posts.

My friend Amber came to visit. She, I and Michael went over to Bee's inner-city apartment (very sexy!) and ate chocolate hash cake and watched Alien, spent the whole time making crude jokes about it too and wishing there was more nudity! When the movie was over Amber said she wanted to watch porn and so we went to the porn shop near the Teddy Bear shop on the next street. We spent an hour there. We bought a gay German porno called...erm...actually I don't remember what it was called. We also got this real old school one called Every Inch A Lady, that was awesome! It was like a whole fucking movie! I've never seen such an intense plot on a porno before!! There was a three DVDs for the price of two so we also got one called Amberella. My friends tend to call me Ella alot, what can I say, Australians have an obsession with shortening names. So a porno with Amber and Ella in it. We had to have it!!

It was good but I freaked out whilst watching it because a) it was old porn and the girls obviously never heard of trimming and b) neither had the guys and c) remind me to NEVER EVER EVER let a guy with a moustache go down on me! NO FUCKING WAY!!! It looks gross!!! Get your filthy yeti lip away from my pussy!

I finished my last shift at work last Sunday. All done! YAY! I was going to burn my work shirt but instead I had people sign it :-) inlcuding a customer.

The past few months I've been sick on and off, it's been a fucking nuisance!! Back in March I lost about 4 kg in two weeks...illness does not become me in the slightest. July 2007 I got this horrific bout of influenza and it just keeps coming back. So I went to the doctor three months ago for some injections (for Uggy Land) and she measured and weighed me and said that I needed to gain some weight. She said it would be a very wise idea to gain about three to five kgs otherwise if I got sick, malaria or something else that I have never had, then I'd at least have some spare pudge. Apparently the last thing you want is to get sick and already be on the lowest BMI. So I put on some weight....and I didn't have to pay a cent to do it! My Mum when all Motherly on my arse!!

"Ohh my Baby is leaving me, let me feed you!!" And so she did. And I ate. And now I'm fat*. And my Doctor is somewhat proud of me :-)

Now all that was fun but the best thing I did was last Friday. I was in the city and there was a group of Aboriginal dancers there from the Yuggera tribe and I was watching them, along with a couple of hundred other people and one of the guys came over and asked me to go dance with them. So I did. I dumped my shoes and bag with their stuff and went and danced.

*48kg.

10 comments:

  1. *eyebrows touching hairline

    Not quite sure I want these socks anymore. :P

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  2. There you are... was wondering where you had gone off to. Eagerly awaiting the arrival ot a fat exportation. Safe trip, Tambs.

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  3. uuuuuuuuhhhuuuuuuuu

    Princess' SOCKS. they be mine!

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  4. the other day my friend showed me three tiny pimples around her mouth. apparently they'd been accrued from kissing a guy with a moustache. Now this! I have got to get him to get rid of it! My dad i mean. Don't want him to be hurtin my ma

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  5. But antipop, your dad is not, err..alive.Or so you posted.

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  6. @Ella
    Hmmn

    See you when you finally touch base indeed De...

    Every Inch a Lady...

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  7. I was trawling the net for porn when I ran into this post.... proved to be nearly as good till you started getting sick and then fat. Talk of anti-climax

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  8. Can you imagine I've been counting down the days till you get here? I'm so excited. And child, 48kgs?!!!! You're coming to Africa remember. The land of the well endowed. You need to put on much more flesh. Weigh in the 60s at least. Trust me, my aunts keep reminding me that I'm not fully African yet.

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  9. i aam rather curious to see this little grey eyed vixen!

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