Second Thoughts

Right, so after careful thought I've decided on the perfect excuse for why I now have a blog. Now pay attention I wont be explaining this again:

It was a cold winter night in July and I was eating dinner in front of the tv, I know, such decadence for such a young life. What I was watching? I don't fucking now, sheesh! But it had some dude on it who was an ex-reporter and apparently he was psychologically damaged from reporting in certain parts of Africa. Anyway the tv then proceeded to scare the bejeebuz out of me with some typical horrifying pictures of mauled babies. I scrambled for the remote but it wasn't working because the batteries had been taken by the battery fairy ie. they fucked off under the couch never to be seen again. So I watched the entire alarming documentary because there is NO way in hell I'm getting off my fat arse to change the channel. When it ended, and let me tell you it was not soon enough, I saw an ad about africa, again, and the ad had all those mauled babies in it, WTF is with that?! Why does the tv insist upon freaking out my viewing with mauled african babies, it's not like I can't upset myself enough without those images. In an effort to ease my moral suffering I ran to the computer and sponsored a child. HAHAHA. Just like that, it was so easy and now my bank account is suffering and I see my savings ebbing away and a life on the streets is looming large in my near future. Apart from my impending financial doom it was the best decision I ever made, that is, it was the best decision if it was between that and falling in a vat of acid. Alright that may be a tad grim since the kid I sponsor is absolutely adorable. She's so cute I just want to eat her, but cannibalism is frowned upon by most societies, so I'll refrain and instead will eat white gummi bears. The bad thing about sponsoring her, the thing that I liken to a vat of acid is the fact that I researched her country, The Pearl of Africa. Nice name, I like it. And now I know way more then I wanted to know and now I can't stop thinking about Uganda and now I have a frickin' BLOG!!

The other story is I liked Pernille's blog so much and The 27th Comrades that I couldn't handle being excluded and now I have a frickin' BLOG!