Wednesday, 23 July 2008

Tribes and Naming Rights

I'd just like to express my deepest and most sarcastic gratitude to Chanel for thinking I need an African name. Did you see what they came up with? And GUG thinks I have a big nose, though he's not even seen it and said I should be with the Baganda. So NOT COOL!! No offense to the Baganda who drop by here but I can do better. In response to the names people gave. And it's obvious most of you cannot follow simple directions, I wonder how any of you passed your school exams...but I shan't dwell on that.
Omuramba! - Well, I quite like being named after an alcohol. And I guess you win, only because I don't want you to hit me if I don't say you win...
Nansamba - Means what exactly?
Kukyakara - Huh?
Nomvhulangxa - Well, I would, but I can't spell that shit without having to check back here!
Sokhilixwezingikwe - Ditto, though I can click reasonably well.
Nakawunde - Means what?
Kamese - You're trying to name me Rat/Mouse? I don't fucking think so loser!!
Aber - Best suggestion so far. Sounds nice and I CAN SPELL IT! :P Middle name?
And as far as tribe goes...screw the Baganda! I refuse to be part of that tribe. My nose is a perfectly normal size, nothing overly-large about it! And I'm not a, wait, what was it they were called...oh right, I'm not a back-stabbing, theiving gossipmonger! I'd rather be a Mukiga. Antipop is a Mukiga and she's a bitch. I want that tribe! Any excuse to be a bitch 24/7 and I am so there! How do I join? Obviously too late to be born one. So, initiation ceremony? I can give you a rib. Or do you join the tribe of whoever you marry? Anyone want to give me the number of a cute Bakiga?


  1. my friend, the baganda rule this land. you do not want to be pissing them off like that yet, lest you are denied a visa. that said, i think you have made a very wise decision of joining THE tribe. it is the tribe to be seen to belong to.
    wait. this post is so tribalistic. i take back my comments. we all belong to one tribe, one race. of humanity. (i bind!)

  2. Pfft Antipop, now is not the time to go all 'humanity' on us. You gotta understand that that from a non-tribal culture the fact that there are such things as tribes is down right hilarious!! And that tribes say the rudest shit about other tribes is ridiculous. I've never seen bitching done quite like this before! It's fucking funny!! Tribes are over-generalisations taken to the extreme, it's comedy in the making! And provided there's no blood shed, what's a little name calling amongst country men?

    And on a ruling point, rulers have always pissed me off. People who throw their weight around on a title should be raped by rabid goats and if that includes certain people who may or may not be Baganda, then so be it.

    And what are the chances of my immigration officer being Baganda and reading this blog? Hmmm, probably pretty high actually, so if you are my immigration officer, take this post and in fact all posts I make with a huge dollop of sarcasm and a laughing smile and maybe a crisp $50 note...


  4. I did. Do you still love me? Cause I'll still love you even when you totally dis Australians. In fact I'll probably be right there bitching my heart out...

  5. After that mess with the crocodile hunter, I figured I'd keep my mouth shut about Australians

  6. Aww, but Ivan, that is so Un-Australian! It's part of the honourary Australian rules. Rule 3: You must bitch about Australia/Australians and have an Australian completely agree with whatever truthful or bullshit crap you've just said.

  7. girl is determined! do tell me how all this turns out.

  8. Kukyakara means to enjoy yourself in aprty stance sorta thingie DeTambs

    and something about Bakiga women


    i just don't picture you as a Muganda...


    De Aber...
    De Muramba
    De Kukyakara
    De etc...

  9. I am frankly disappointed with the bloggers' name suggestions, and very worried for coming bloffsprings. There are lots of wonderful African names and we are not giving Tambs a fair chance.

    Tambs, choose any English words that you feel describe yourself and we will work on an equivalent name in any language.

    For instance, there is Tumaini - which means hope in Swahili. The luganda equivalent is Suubi. There is love - Upendo in Swahili, Kwagala in Luganda, Bolingo in Lingala. I know a language where names beginning with "dra" have something to do with death. Like Drani or Drabo.

    However, I don't think you want to be called death or love or peace, so choose whatever words or ideas float your boat and give us another challenge.

  10. Oh no.

    you gals and guys. This problem was solved eons ago.

    De Kamese...

  11. The way you sound you should be an Ankole that way you have immunity from everything. Plus they are the ones with the balls to go wordy like you. In that case Bakashaba Ruhanga Owomwiguru Kubahereza yabahereza DeT. Meaning they asked God to send them a slut and he sent DeT.

  12. you are now detamble aber omuramba so you are also a mucholi sisters with me kissyfur,and cherie. any more out there come out now!

  13. *He, I meant *He sent DeT. Please dont struck me with lightening.

  14. Chanelno5,
    I so totally, absolutely adore your name. Totally fabulous. Absolutely, fantastique! forgive my French.
    Bakashaba Ruhanga Owomwiguru Kubahereza yabahereza DeT. Meaning they asked God to send them a slut and he sent DeT


    But I was there first, and a brothers privilege…

    deT Kamese!

  15. @Chanel< that was funny! where is the translation for #slut# in your (Kiny)Akole name though???!

    I am seriously in tears with laughter on this one. DeT, you have to make a pic, you have to make a pick.

    I say demand for the translation of #slut# and take Chanel's.