Sunday, 27 April 2008

Death Is Waiting For Me

Hunk is sick and I feel sad. Worried even, though I'm not too sure what worry feels like. It's not something I've come across before and if this is what worry feels like, it sucks!

I talked to Him last night right before I went to bed and he really didn't sound good, even though he said he was going to be fine. I do believe him, I know he's going to be fine, it's not like he's at Death's door and yet I lay awake for ages thinking about him and when I finally slept I had terrible nightmares and woke up crying.
What's wrong with me? Usually when someone gets sick, my family, my friends, my boyfriends, I just shrug and go "yeah, that's nice, call me when you're better" and completely forget about it. Except this one time, He tells me he is a little sick and I turn into a useless mess. I've been so distracted I even showed up for work an hour early (GUG), I got a massive paper cut on my thumb and didn't realise until the blood started trickling along my hand and the entire day was tinged with a strange sadness and I was so unbelievably distracted!! Hardly a second went by when I wasn't thinking of him.

After my third screw up this morning my best friend Bee, who also happens to be one of my bosses turned to me and asked what the hell was wrong with me today. I told her He was sick and she stared at me incredulously "Wow, my little Tambling, you actually care about this boy. I've never seen you care about anyone, ever."

I hung my head. She's right, I've never ever ever ever cared about anyone else. Not once.

She grabbed my hand and I looked up at her and she smiled back at me, "You've really fallen hard, haven't you?"
I groaned and dropped my head onto the counter. Hard? That barely begins to describe it. I feel like I've been hit by a speeding bus, by a bullet train, by a comet with a millennia of force behind it! Every time I see him I gasp. There is never enough oxygen, my heart beats like it's about to explode within my ribs and I start to feel dizzy.

I'm never going to survive this. Look how I feel when he's a little bit sick. Imagine how I'm going to feel when we break up. Bee says I should cut and run now while I've still got a some sense left but I can't. I've fallen too hard, I don't know how to get up again.


  1. i would so love to know what this dude did to detamble for her to fall this hard this fast. dude got skillz!!

  2. Welcome that world! I think love is overrated though.

    Thats the cynical me.

    But also its coz love's made me a pathetic bastard.

    Hope he gets better soon.

  3. no wonder you were in such a hurry to kick out your ex...the goods you were getting in couldn't wait! though i have to say i'm still waiting the details of the steamy goings on, naturally when health is back! :0)

    PS: Sex is good for men for who are ill. fact.

  4. You read Balzac?!!! I'm such a Balzac fan. I just wanted to say that.

  5. tripped and fell huh? Good luck to the both of you.

  6. @Iwaya: That tip on sex for sick men: gold. Zaabu.
    Also, Balzac fans will have ministerial positions after the Revolution.

    @Ella: :-o Wow ...

  7. @DeTambs
    I know the feeling...
    Guess i should shelve whatever ideas i had of waiting for you to hit base!!
    Nice post DeTambs...
    i like(d) it

    Thanks for dropping by mine and dropping a comment too!

  8. @DeTambs
    Anon was me ...
    I think Blogger needs a drink to ease on up...
    I suggest 2 shots of Smirnoff with crushed ice and lime....
    wait, is Blogger over 21?

    I don't think so!


  9. Sis! When do I get to meet the dude that stole your heart?

  10. Why do I think I should raise the bride price to 50 cows, and sis will not mind a jot?

  11. @31337: Anonymity.

    @Wilde: He's is better. And I too am a cynical little bitch who thinks love is overrated. Which is why I'm having such a difficult time accepting what he's done to me.

    @Iwaya: OMG I don't have you on my roll!! Adding you now! Oh yes, my ex, I'd forgotten about him. All other men have been erased from my memory. And thanks for the tip ;-)

    @KK: Thanks, I think I need it.

    @27th: :-0 I get a Ministerial position? SWEET FUCK YEAH!!!

    @B2B: Sorry to shelve the base :-( and I think blogger is over 18. And here in AUS you can drink at 18.

    @Princess: You will, probably, at some future point. Maybe I'll drag him to Uganda with me, I need someone to carry the bags.

    @BrotherGUG: 50 cows? That had better be for me and not for Princess. I don't mind if you raise it to 100 cows :-) Whatever you want Brother, maybe you should make him give you 2 cars as well ;-) I'd also like to take this time to say you are far too smart! But so very trustworthy it hardly matters :-x

  12. Sis, a gift for you at mine!!

  13. the use of "when" and not "if" as in "when we break up" has not gone unnoticed.
    but seriously, such things exist? all those mushy things u described?
    wow! sucks for you det.

  14. Tho Thprung!

    I love to watch as the folly of pheremones takes over.

  15. i came here to fight about the comment u left at 27th, but i ran out of steam when the page took long to open. now i just want to let you know that i did want to fight det.

  16. Fight? :-o What the hell about??

  17. det... think u ought to go back n read 27th post.. to figure out y antipop is up in arms...

  18. Damn girl, u're smitten! U f ell so hard u cracked.

    I thought u were gangsta...turns out, you're like me. Just like me.

    but worry not...that's the sweet bit about love! Or falling in love!


  19. @Princess: I thoroughly enjoyed your gift! :-D THANKS!

    @Antipop: It does suck! And apparently they do exist and trust me I'm extremely surprised!

    @Pmama: *sniffs* Mmm those pheromones smell sooo good!

    @Antipop: :-o *cries* I don't want to fight!! Muuuuuuuummmmyyyy! *runs away*

    @Tandra: Me thinks it was the accents thing...

    @Cheri:I am smitten! And it is BAD! I'm cracked and bruised. Gansta? Me? Noooo neyvah!! I'm just a little, fiery. I've never fallen like this before...I don't know what to do! :-) I am so not gangsta... I get hurt too easy to be gangsta. New Ginger post coming up for you soon. I'm writing it now!