Death Is Waiting For Me

Hunk is sick and I feel sad. Worried even, though I'm not too sure what worry feels like. It's not something I've come across before and if this is what worry feels like, it sucks!

I talked to Him last night right before I went to bed and he really didn't sound good, even though he said he was going to be fine. I do believe him, I know he's going to be fine, it's not like he's at Death's door and yet I lay awake for ages thinking about him and when I finally slept I had terrible nightmares and woke up crying.
What's wrong with me? Usually when someone gets sick, my family, my friends, my boyfriends, I just shrug and go "yeah, that's nice, call me when you're better" and completely forget about it. Except this one time, He tells me he is a little sick and I turn into a useless mess. I've been so distracted I even showed up for work an hour early (GUG), I got a massive paper cut on my thumb and didn't realise until the blood started trickling along my hand and the entire day was tinged with a strange sadness and I was so unbelievably distracted!! Hardly a second went by when I wasn't thinking of him.

After my third screw up this morning my best friend Bee, who also happens to be one of my bosses turned to me and asked what the hell was wrong with me today. I told her He was sick and she stared at me incredulously "Wow, my little Tambling, you actually care about this boy. I've never seen you care about anyone, ever."

I hung my head. She's right, I've never ever ever ever cared about anyone else. Not once.

She grabbed my hand and I looked up at her and she smiled back at me, "You've really fallen hard, haven't you?"
I groaned and dropped my head onto the counter. Hard? That barely begins to describe it. I feel like I've been hit by a speeding bus, by a bullet train, by a comet with a millennia of force behind it! Every time I see him I gasp. There is never enough oxygen, my heart beats like it's about to explode within my ribs and I start to feel dizzy.

I'm never going to survive this. Look how I feel when he's a little bit sick. Imagine how I'm going to feel when we break up. Bee says I should cut and run now while I've still got a some sense left but I can't. I've fallen too hard, I don't know how to get up again.