Translink

Catching an outbound morning service Translink bus is by far the most entertaining time to travel by bus in Brisbane. Generally, in the early mornings an outbound bus it populated only by school children. Sleepy school children. Their uniforms freshly ironed, their hair often still unbrushed, their yawning faces puffy from sleep. The bus driver, taking full advantage of the sleepy, indifferent and often sulky cohort of children with no interfering, council complaining adults, goes on a mild power trip.

The usual rules a bus driver seems to adhere to on any other bus trip just disappear. After many years of catching Translink buses I have come to understand that the outbound morning service drivers are like no other. Gone are the quiet, civilized bus rides you can usually expect at any other time of day. In their place reside the species of the ‘school run’ driver. They live to speed! They come screeching to a halt in a cloud of smoking rubber. They run red lights. They laugh and tease you when you get on board, ‘Another day of prison?’ they leer, as you stare confusedly at them through bleary eyes. They play music at an ear pounding level, everything from Rammstein to opera and they sing along, loudly! They play games on their mobiles while they wait for a light to go green. They turn around in their seats and swear down at us and ask the closest students if they’re failing anything. And at a stunning speed the bus comes to a bone jarring, curb bumping halt and you tumble out, wide awake, ready for another day of ‘prison’ and secretly amazed you’re still alive.

These drivers are unique and are responsible with supplying schools with alert and adrenaline rushed children and sadly they’re only available on the outbound morning service. Any other time and they are the same sedate and rule abiding drivers of the day.