Wednesday, 16 April 2008


Catching an outbound morning service Translink bus is by far the most entertaining time to travel by bus in Brisbane. Generally, in the early mornings an outbound bus it populated only by school children. Sleepy school children. Their uniforms freshly ironed, their hair often still unbrushed, their yawning faces puffy from sleep. The bus driver, taking full advantage of the sleepy, indifferent and often sulky cohort of children with no interfering, council complaining adults, goes on a mild power trip.

The usual rules a bus driver seems to adhere to on any other bus trip just disappear. After many years of catching Translink buses I have come to understand that the outbound morning service drivers are like no other. Gone are the quiet, civilized bus rides you can usually expect at any other time of day. In their place reside the species of the ‘school run’ driver. They live to speed! They come screeching to a halt in a cloud of smoking rubber. They run red lights. They laugh and tease you when you get on board, ‘Another day of prison?’ they leer, as you stare confusedly at them through bleary eyes. They play music at an ear pounding level, everything from Rammstein to opera and they sing along, loudly! They play games on their mobiles while they wait for a light to go green. They turn around in their seats and swear down at us and ask the closest students if they’re failing anything. And at a stunning speed the bus comes to a bone jarring, curb bumping halt and you tumble out, wide awake, ready for another day of ‘prison’ and secretly amazed you’re still alive.

These drivers are unique and are responsible with supplying schools with alert and adrenaline rushed children and sadly they’re only available on the outbound morning service. Any other time and they are the same sedate and rule abiding drivers of the day.


  1. And at any other time, they are so sedate, you'd want to pat them on the head.

    Ah, me and the morning taxis. That's when I'm in jail, when I'm in the taxi. Jail ends when I jump out, promising me that will be the very last time.
    And I do it again, tomorrow morning. :o)

  2. I like the way you've written this, DeT. Good job!

  3. At least you do get friendly ones to balance out the bastard swearing ones. I remember the sad days of school bus runs in the afternoon especially. At least they were sober and alert(ish) though.

    This bloke I had this arvo on the way from the city to uni? Swear to god, stoned off his tits. I show him my tickets, and he half laughs and says "Cool man", leaving me to walk up the bus slightly perplexed. Then he slows right down midway between Busway stops, speeds up about 200m before the ACTUAL stop, then screeches to a halt.

    Mind you, it was a laugh :P

  4. Description just drives me crazy.I like this.Pity back here all i think about in the morning is the traffic jam

  5. i love open roads light traffic, mishcief galore. there is the thrill of marking the tar with your tyres and later on passing by the same spot and see the marks you made, pride perhaps? the sweet smell of burning rubber...

  6. our taxi(equivalet of your buses) rides here are just the same, anytime of the day. or night. i never complain. it never works. it only makes them crazier.

  7. U really descride it well...

    thanks for teasing me at my pic...but yeah, they are really long...and it looks like u made 31337's day.


  8. @Antipop: I'm jealous. I love the insane way they drive here in the mornings, I wish they would do it ALL the time!!!

    @Cheri: You are most welcome! And actually, I stole the legs thing from 31337, so it should make his day :D