Friday, 15 February 2008

$50 and a Goat

So there's this boy in Gulu who I think is pretty fucking hot! Not that that has much to do with anything other than I think he's nice to look at. Anyway DeTamble stop day dreaming and write about the goat!

Like I said in one of my first blogs I got guilt tripped into sponsoring a child. Those horrible ads with those icky snotty snivelling children were too much for me. So I sponsored one. No one should have snot stuck to their face. It's just gross.

As a general rule I hate children. I thought I hated all children. Well now after months of sponsoring I stand corrected. Turns out I only hate the children in my country. I'm wondering if this is because I have direct contact with the children in my country or if perhaps the children here are nasty, selfish, spoilt, FAT, ugly disgusting excuses for human beings. I think it may be the latter. Of course not all children are like that, some are very nice but most are just retarded!
Personally, I blame the parents here because their children didn't get like that without some guidance. Anyway I'm getting a little sidetracked and I don't want this post to turn into a generational warfare one, so back to the point.

I specifically chose Uganda because it's my favourite African continent country (yeah, I do actually have a preferred country on every continent, I know, how shallow). The Pearl of Africa, with a name like that what more could you want, plus you guys got those weird birds that look like mutant vultures. Oh and there's that really hot guy in Gulu.

Anywho so that Ugandan kid that I quite like because she isn't a brat like the kids here. Actually that could be an excellent way to advertise sponsorship. Instead of showing fly infested children they could show some erm, what would you call them? Kosher kids? You know, children who are clean and don't look like they're gonna drop dead in the next 2 seconds and then point out how much nicer they are then the kids here. And then all the parents here will be like "oh, what a lovely child" and then drop their own nasty fat children off a cliff and spend their money on a nicer child, rather then on their own retarded child (who sat around all day eating crisps and playing Xbox and who would have grown up to be a McDonald's junkie and ultimately wasted their fat retarded life). Argh! I keep getting sidetracked!



I sent and extra AUD$50 that's about USD$46 to my sponsored child. For Christmas. They bought a really hardcore pair of school shoes for her that are going to last until the day they stop playing Simpsons repeats here. A really amazing new dress that I'm a little jealous of and a goat. They also sent me a picture with said goat in it. A Goat! I love goats! It's quite a good looking goat in my opinion. Goats are awesome. I can't believe it, it's so not fair ! I always wanted a goat! And now she has a goat, where's my goat? I'm suffering from massive goat envy at the moment. Lucky kid. I always wanted a goat and what do I have? 5 cats. Hmmm maybe if I tie the cats together I could pretend they were a goat.

Oh kitties, where are you? I'm coming to fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiind you...

1 comment:

  1. Jesus, you are psychotic, DeTamble! :o)

    Goats are easy to love when you don't have to live that close to them. I love them until I have to walk by them. And that look on their faces, no good.

    Eh, I'm all for the thing about the pictures changing a wee bit. :o) Tired of the snot, for fuck's sake. We have more tricks to guilt-trip Australians than just snot, don't we?