Thursday, 28 February 2008

Where Did I Go?

I looked in the mirror this morning and I was so surprised by what I saw that I had to sit down on the bed. Where did I go? That's not me! That's an adults face! Where is my face? Where are my cute pudgy little cheeks? What are these cheek bones for? My face looks so different. Why did it take me so long to notice, I look in the mirror like five times a day. Why did I only notice now. As I sat on the bed I looked at my little hands, the dimples children have on their hands are gone. When did they go? How long have they been gone? When did I become an adult? How could I have missed this! I'm gone and there's this strange girl staring back at me.

Rufus Wainright, where have you been hiding my whole life? I've fallen in love with your voice, it makes my heart beat so hard, I'm on a constant high.

My boyfriend and I are breaking up. I'm having an affair with a wrestler called Jeronimo. Ha, no not really. We're not breaking up for a while. In August he's going overseas for a while and I'm always busy with uni. Plus I want to leave my country for the greener grass of others and I don't want him to come with me. I want to be by myself. He doesn't want to come anyway. Which I think is good. When we started going out in 2006 we fought so often, it even got physical occasionally but apparently I'm too frightening to fight with because I fight like an enraged cat. We don't fight any more, we worked through most of our differences and learned to live with the rest. It's been the strangest relationship I've ever had and I definitely don't want another like it but it's been a good learning experience. It certainly opened my eyes up to a whole lot of things. Enough is enough though and it's time to move on. August can't come soon enough. I love him and I never want to stop being close to him but I don't want to date him any longer. He's not even my type. I have this rule that I wont date anyone under six foot, and I broke it for him because, well I don't even know why, I just did. The only reason we're staying together atm is because we live in the same house and share the rent and I don't want to have to pay double rent, also the lease doesn't run out until July/August. We companionably ignore each other most of the time, I'm quite enjoying myself too, I have new things and new people to experience.

An update on A's hair, it's gone green. Muwhahahaha. They're trying to dye it red now.

I have my first Uni classes for this year on Wednesday, I'm only studying three subjects this semester. Social Sciences in Australia, Understanding Islam and Muslim Societies and Effective Writing. The books for the subjects are really interesting. I wonder what I'll think of the lectures.

I've put the Purple Hibiscus on hold at the library, I should have it in a few days. I hope it's as good as people say. Recently I read Balzac and The Little Chinese Seamstress, I laughed and thought of the Dying Communist.

You should read it 27th, it's good. Seriously, read it! It's true Australia was having it's worst drought in history. Most of our dams were empty, there were so many skeletons on farms. Bats were literally dropping from the sky because they had starved to death. 4 minute showers have been the rule. A new "Water Patrol" was created, they're the water police and they drive around and give people huge fines for water misuse. They're like water Nazis. Children in Australia from about 8 and younger had never even seen rain until late last year. Apparently the drought is breaking in some parts. Broken by flooding. The rest of it is still so dry great cracks have ripped apart the earth. Looks like a huge earthquake went through. Maybe Australia's climate has PMS.

Did it die because you fed it only bread? What type of bird was it? When I was little I used to help this old lady who looked after hurt sugar gliders. They're so cute, the cages smell though. You can't feed the babies cow milk because it makes them go blind. They're so soft. At least you took care of the bird, it's better to die being loved than to die out in the cold and starving.

The guy who didn't swim spent 30 hours hanging onto the esky lid until a helicopter came to find him. I would have swum.

You are an over-conservative idiot! :)

Yes, Australians kill tourists and if the people don't kill you the country will. I'm not joking about this, 100s of tourists have died here. Murdered, mostly backpackers. Or drowned. Or lost. The police find new bodies constantly. There wont be a week that goes by here without another tourists body being found. They're in the paper constantly. Don't worry though, we just like to kill the English, French and Germans. African tourists seem to be perfectly safe, for the moment. Probably because there aren't a lot of them here.
Tips for tourists who would like to visit without dying.
1) No hitch hiking! Most of the missing backpackers were killed by a pair of brothers who offered them a lift and then brutally murdered and raped them and then left their bodies in the bush.
2) If you want to go outback do it with a reputable tour group and don't fucking ever walk off by yourself! You don't want to end up like the French lady who scrawled "help" in the desert sand. Actually she was just found today, she's still alive but she was lost in the desert for almost five days. Or the lady last month who was in a car crash out whoop whoop (it means middle of nowhere) all the people in the car died and she walked for a week along the road until a truck saw her. They were lucky, most of the time you die.
3) Going to the beach? Don't go out more than 5 meters and stay between the flags at ALL TIMES! Unless you want to drown. A couple drowned here about 3 weeks ago and they were on they're honeymoon. I forget which country they were from though. During Christmas several Indian students drowned. Honestly people. Learn to swim or get the fuck out of the water!
4) Stick to the cities and if you want to travel go along the East Coast. Only go outback if you really really desperately want to and be well prepared and don't, repeat, DON'T go by yourself.
If you feel likely to forget the outback rule, I suggest you watch the movie Wolf Creek. It should help remind you.
5) You can go to Uluru though, there's always plenty of people there, you're highly unlikely to die. Unless you're a baby and the Dingo gets you.

Any of you heard of a comedian named Akmal? The dude is fucking hilarious. He's the best Aussie around. Brilliant. Actually speaking of comedy, any one heard of The Chaser's War On Everything? Their APEC stunt. Hehe. Canada can get you anywhere.

27th, my dad is Chinese, he speaks Mandarin. If I was going to learn languages I'd learn French, German, Serbian, Danish, Russian and Japanese. I already speak a very small amount of Danish. I saw the video too. I didn't realise you were so young!! I'm sorry but in my mind I had aged you to around late 30s early 40s. My bad. I really liked your dreads though. Sprite? I wish I thought you were joking. You smoke pot. Why just Sprite?

@Cheri, did you mean put this post up?

Can someone else explain to me what "Spit Out" means. You were bloody hopeless at explaining that 27th. Unless you meant that, ohhh no nvm I just don't understand. Try again.

PS. I hope everyone has a blast at UBHH. I'm going to go to bed now to sulk ; ( Unreasonable plane ticket prices. Hmph!


  1. wow... I've heard a lot about Australia but this is new...
    The climate has PMS and the ppl kill tourists!!!!


    anywho... Hope u have fun at school!!!

  2. Australia is fucking up tourists real bad. I guess I'll keep to me good ol' Africa, mate. And miss out on hearing people who say `Mate' for the simple heck of it. And the accents where 'A' and 'I' are the same. And all those venomous, poisonous thingies. Weird flora and fauna (marsupials, in God's name!). Still, I'll watch the documentaries and cheer the male dingos on when the sex scene shows up. Crickey, it's khaki Friday! And watch how your cricket and rugby teams molest the rest of the world shamelessly.

    The Little Chinese Seamstress ... hmm. Title appeals to my Sinophile side.

    Your dad is Chinese? Do you speak Chinese? I would! I just want to learn only one language per region, you know. Just to trot my mind. The world's big. Can't do Serbian and Russian, because they are similar (I think). I want disparate stuff. I'm going to have lots of time on my hands. Nice way to let it glide away.

    Oh, that video. Heh. Um ... those dreadlocks were days old, at the time. I started the documentary without them, ended it with them. Was shocked how long they had grown when I watched it. These days, they are a forest of keratin.

    Most people think I am thirty-something. Some time, a blogger went some hours thinking it was a lie, when I told him I was the guy blogging at CS&B. But I'm used to being anachronistic. I'll be playing with Lego bricks at 40, I guess. :o(

    I don't know. It's half bad, half good, when people think I am way old. Some columnist I was corresponding with in the papers stopped the mail when he learnt my age. All the while he was saying we should meet and debate this to the finish ...
    And the worst part is that I prefer older women, who don't take me that seriously, either. :o( The good part is that I always have a shock waiting for people who think they have me figured out.

    Sprite is the ish. I don't know why there are any other drinks, for one. It Just Works. :o) Just spit it out. Do what you think it means, if I'm being too coy to explain it. :o)

  3. The Chasers are HALAAARIAS! Their skit on Americans is legendary.