Saturday, 23 February 2008

RE: Posion Capsule

I have to run in 3min so quick update in case you drop by. Nothing bad has happened, well nothing like that anyway. A couple of weeks ago I finally gathered up the courage to tell my mum what I'm planning to do with my life/career and what I want to do hurts her, badly. She's very worried about me and sad for herself. I don't like hurting my mummy, it makes me hurt. Lots. I'll edit this later I gtg now. Bye fluffy head


Yeah, it's bad when we make our Mamas cry :-( She wanted me to go to Uni and study psychology, get a good job, get married, buy a house and have a few children and she either wanted to live with me or live nearby. I'm all she has. I have no siblings and my father has been a missing person since I was 3 and my step-father lives 4hours flight away from us. The rest of her family live just as far away as my step-dad but in another city, the closest person is my Aunt but my mum can't handle talking to her. Remember that lady 27th wrote about recently, the lady with the scars, that's my aunt and she refuses to leave him even though a couple of weeks ago he broke her jaw. So yep, I'm all she has and she was relying on me and I couldn't do what she wanted. Instead I'm studying International Relations and as soon as I'm done I'm leaving my country to see things that will scar me for life, may get me killed and will definitely hurt. That's what I'm scared of, that it'll hurt so much I'll just die inside. And I've only just started and I already hurt because I know it'll hurt her more just because I wont be with her.

Woah, DeTamble way to depress yourself, I think maybe you shouldn't write this stuff down girl.


  1. I made my Mama cry over the same thing: my career decision. But it suffices to understand that we shouldn't live our futures as cheap copies of someone's personal expectations of us. Sometimes, we have to choose to go against the flow. Even when it hurts a bit. :o(

  2. *plucks at heart strings*

    You probably make her cry even more then you realise.

    Btw do you have a twin brother? I thought I remembered reading somewhere that you do but I may just be making it up in my university addled mind.