Absolute Shite

I'm nearing the end of my journal. This is my 6th journal I think. I tend to write a lot. A lot of shit actually. Before I close it's worn pages and place it at the back of my closet with all my other journals I thought I'd transfer some of it onto my blog. So that I can read my preferred parts without having to delve back into the dark spidery depths of that closet.

Landcare Australia spends $4billion pa. on pulling out weeds.

Vengeance is a lazy form of grief.

Beppe Grillo - Vaffanculo Day.

Alek Wek is a hot Sudanese model.

What are planagles?

May Zeus strike you down with his shiny bolts of lightning!

Bow down before the power that is Santa or be crushed by his Jolly Boots of Doom!

What's with saying 'cya' and 'bye' straight after?

Zibubbly now in Zipink - Zibibbo Rosa.

Hospitals have a name for people who ride motorcycles without helmets, they're called 'Donorcylces'. Charming.

Saw a lizard eating a dead magpie - 30th of October 2007.

RIP Liep Gony.

Pronto Condoms

At this rate he could launch his own series - Jaz on Osama Bin Laden about his televised rants.

Rambo IV was murder porn.

Alex - DeTamble
TAG! You're mine! 2day is national CLAIM A RETARD DAY so you're my retard! Hurry and tag as many retards as you can. No tag backs! 4:26pm 25th of July 2007 (it was a text)

Tom to DeTamble: You look like a stoned rabbit. Sometimes you look like a normal stoned rabbit and sometimes you look like a were-rabbit. (Yes, I know. What the hell is he talking about?)

I think that one lecturer to 359 students is fine, sort of intimate.

The Rosetta Stone.

610AD 1st revelation of Qur'an.

Sometimes I write down things my friends are saying, I sort of transcribe our conversations as we talk...yeh, I'm a freak. My friends and I were talking about sex, because it's an hilarious topic.

A does not care about the colour (of a vibrator), she just wants to get off. I would rather a black one, I like the colour contrast.
T said that at Sexpo one could probably find an anal probe the goes right to the back of the teeth. (yep, kind of gross, we yelled at him)

The way my friends and I settle arguments and so does most of the worlds political leaders apparently. Whoever gets in first and is loudest is always right.

Weirdest pick up line we created: You're cuntastic, wanna come home with me? *sleazy wink and maybe a slight eyebrow waggle*

It was decided that T as the only boy in the group is the wang bearer.
T - I bear the wang says I, the bearer of the wang.

Also whenever someone says something incredibly stupid which surprisingly isn't that often. I guess because it has to be stupider then most of the things we says and we have set a very low bar, this is what happens. We turn as one upon the person who said the stupid thing and yell "Ding! Ding! Ding! (like a wrestlers bell) You've been BRIETARDED!"

Obviously anyone reading this post wont understand anything written here because you're probably not as insane as I am. Though I did try to write some explanations for the normal amongst you.

Here's some random things that I was going to post about and then never did and just saved them into the same draft:

T talking to me:
T - I'm going to go play war games and shoot a few people, it's okay though, I think they're Russian.
Me - Russian, yeah that's okay...You know it would be even better if they were American!
T - Actually, I think we're the Americans.
Me - Oh, damn.
T - I have shot a few of my own men though, accidentally.
Me - Good, good, take them down from the inside.

I've just sorted out 1,052 pay slips. I've been in the same job for far, far too long. I'm looking for another.

I remember when I was in the beginning of highschool and every Tuesday night I would rush into the sitting room to watch Malcolm in the Middle. Fuck Yeah! You're not the boss of me now and you're not so big. I loved it!

As a leaving note.

Boobs that art in heaven, hallowed be thy bust.

I'll be back.

Did you just say damn?

ANWAY, like I said I'll be back with the thing I was actually going to post.