Sunday, 2 March 2008

To My Mother:

Mother, my friend. You infuriate me sometimes. Like this morning, when you said you would drive me to work. I was supposed to be there are 9am remember? Do you remember what you did at 8:55am, when we should have left 10 minutes earlier? You wrote a shopping list, a long one. I was 15minutes late. I appreciate you driving me, but in future please remember that I lose money if I am late.

Money I need!

Every time my mother walks into my room she goes "Ohhhh, DeTamble" in a way that sounds like I've deeply disappointed her. Apparently my room is a little on the messy side. I like it, it's much easier to find things when they're all laid out on the floor before you. My mothers room is sparklingly neat, mine has spider webs, of which I am very fond. She thinks that if she continues to go "Ohhhh, DeTamble" that I will finally cave in a clean my room. It's not going to happen. What might happen though is that I snap and kill her! My mother makes me very angry sometimes. In fact more angry then anyone else makes me, well, except for that one other person who makes me clench my teeth and feel the urge to slap. Of course I wont slap them, I can't reach anyway, and I wont kill my mother. I will use what little self control I have and instead choose to annoy her by playing a song she doesn't like over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over until she comes storming in and tells me to turn it off. Which I do, and I smile to myself and look forward to the day when I will flee.

My boyfriend just came home as I was about to post this. I haven't seen him since early Friday, he went to his friends 30th birthday party. He came in and we hugged for a long time. This was our conversation.

Me: You have fun?
Him: Yes, didn't really want to come home actually.
M: I didn't want you to come home either. It was nice being alone.
H: I only thought about you twice, for a few minutes.
M: Twice? Me too. I didn't miss you at all.
H: Me neither.
M: I was enjoying the bed all to myself as well.
H: I thought you would.
M: It's alright though, that you're back, I've been cold at night.
H: I love you.
M: I love you too.

Actually, I think I will miss our relationship when we part ways. I enjoy my selfishness.


  1. That is a strange relationship you have there and that is one funny conversation.

  2. To piss my Ma, I get my rock CD that skips, and play it non-fuckin'-stop. It skips around when the drums get insane, so it keeps pummeling against the walls until I am the only one with a drop of sanity left. But then ... I don't wanna do such stuff to my Ma; not anymore.

  3. Imagine I sent my ma a mother's day message this morning! I must be the lousiest daughter!