Text, Sex and Booze

Ummmm, hmmm, errrr, gah. I've never felt less like blogging in my life but as Cheri said I really should write something. Simon, the Sudanese. Nice guy, very interesting, I really enjoyed talking to him. Learnt a lot. Also met a member of the Sudanese Australia Soccer Team. One thing though. And this is a big thing. Simon, is DESPERATE! To have a girlfriend or to get laid, in fact both. I have a boyfriend. I was very very clear that if we spent any time hanging out that it was FRIENDS ONLY! He tried to kiss me, several times. It's just not cool to do that.

Scenario:
Simon and I sitting on a couch arguing about Hilary vs. Obama. Then he tries to kiss me. We weren't even sitting close. He had to move several feet. I pushed his face away and told him that it wasn't okay to do that. Continue talking. He tries again. He was harder to push away this time so, knowing that most guys are ticklish, I tickled him. He squealed like a little girl and moved away very fast. He said sorry and hoped that he hadn't scared me. I said if he had scared me I would have left. Normally, in a strange house with a strange man who wouldn't stop trying to kiss me and obviously wanted more I would have felt scared. But I didn't, in fact I was actually trying not to laugh. He was really desperate to get laid, I was seriously amused. In fact the third time he tried to kiss me I almost laughed in his face. Except I was getting annoyed so I pushed him away really hard and said, yet again, that I was not sleeping with him BECAUSE I HAVE A BOYFRIEND AND BECAUSE I JUST MET YOU and that the only way he was going to get laid was if he raped me and then I slammed my fingernail into his throat and dragged it across as hard as I could (it left a nice mark) and said that if he tried I would rip his throat out with my teeth and then I smiled sweetly at him and took my finger off his throat. He didn't try to kiss me again. I sent him a text message later on telling him not to call me. I'm a little sad about it because he was really interesting and I did like him, especially his dark skin and cute cheeks and mattress hair. I wanted to learn more about him. But he screwed up by being so desperate and kind of begging. You just don't do that to someone you just met. He should have gotten to know me, gained my trust, waited for me to fall for him. But he didn't and so he lost all chance.

About the throat mutilation, yes, I am aware that threatening to bite someone's throat out Rambo/werewolf style isn't a normal. But I really wanted to! I was actually a little disappointed he didn't try something a little more forceful because I really, really, really wanted to see if I could actually rip someone's throat out with my teeth. It wasn't personal, I didn't want to hurt him I just wanted to see if I could do it. No I'm not into vampires or anything like that. The idea just came to me one day as a good defence, since it's not something most people would be expecting. Oh well, some other time perhaps.

I got really drunk on Thursday and didn't have any mushrooms because I didn't think it was a good idea to mix drugs. Apparently I am a cemetery child. More on that later though.