Friday, 21 March 2008

Double Digits, Again.

I'm watching my youngest cousin on the webcam. She says she can't believe I am turning 20 this year. I say I can't believe she is already 11. Time is moving too fast, I wish it would slow down.
She talks to me quite a lot, apparently I'm her favourite. Not that I need her to tell me that, since obviously I'm her favourite. As if DeTamble isn't everyone's favourite cousin. Not that I ever see them. Maybe that's why I'm the favourite because I can't tarnish my image with too much familiarity. My family has scattered itself across the continent and we ignore each other. Don't even send Christmas cards. We are antisocial. We're still here though, if one of us needs something. We're backup. The hidden troops.

I still can't believe that 11 years has gone so quickly, I still remember looking down at her and thinking what big heads babies have. Now my littlest cousin is becoming a beautiful young woman. We'll be beating the boys off with a large stick. Quick Daddy, grab your gun, they're back AGAIN!


EDIT: Now she just told me it was me who explained what wanking was to her. Oh fuck. WHY did I tell her what it meant?


  1. Someone has got to tell the kids, you see. They gotta find out, sometime. Better from you than some predatorial molester.

  2. Who said I wasn't a predatorial molester? :P

  3. Alright I'm not, well not to children anyway. Not much of a molester either. Definitely predator though.

  4. now detamble, what did your mama tell you about bein a model cousin? nothing? well, my mama told me never to answer their lil inquisitive perverted questions. that is how you be model cousin.
    but then again you are aimin for most popular cousin, so i guess your method does work
    love your blog btw. even if i dont visit as often as i should...

  5. Thanks antipop! I like your blog too, I can't believe those guys were wearing the same shirt! Haha.
    Yeah, answering their little perverted questions does work if you want to be the most popular and coolest ever cousin. Plus, I'm quite knowledgeable in the perverted area. I even got questions from my older cousin, I could hardly believe that they didn't know the answer.

  6. U told her all about wanking...??

    DeTamble, now it's u we have to beat with a big stick.


  7. *grabs large pitchfork*
    Okay, you can go get your stick now.
    'Fight to the death!'

  8. yes, De Tamble: why DID you tell her?

  9. Nice place you have here.

    Fuck, you did what now? Did you explain and demonstrate via web cam?

  10. @Princess: Gah, who knows why I told her. Who knows why I do anything. I figured she'd just go and ask someone else, so might as well be me who tells.

    @31337: Nice place you have over there. Erm, no webcam, I explained in person and there wasn't much demonstrating...well not too much. Didn't whip out a cock and give her a blow by blow account :P

  11. I am more interested in how you told her, what did you tell her exactly? hmmmm?

  12. Ohhh god guys, you're as curious as she! She sort of knew what it was anyway, she just wanted to be sure of the word. I kind of showed her a hand movement to when she asked what they did. pretty much they hold their cock and go like so *hand movement*. I left out the good bits, she can find that out on her own.
    Has that satisfied your sordid curiosity yet? :P

  13. I read:

    "Now my littlest cousin is becoming a beautiful young woman."

    and then got to the wanking part and realised I had just had a gagging introduction to your blog.

    But all is possible with you children of today.... tut tut.

    good stuff you got here

  14. Hahahahahaha :D Welcome!

    Sorry about the gagging, but you know, have to catch a readers attention, even if it means grabbing them by the throat.

    Us children today? Yes, we are quite the little bunch of tarts.

    Also, your presence has been duly noted and you're now on the Ducklings list. Enjoy your fluffy yellow status!