Monday, 16 June 2008


Grrrrrrr. I don't like Australians, they're boring, not only that but they don't like me because I wasn't raised to be a good Australian. I don't do Australian things, mostly because I think they're just plain stupid and I don't agree with what the 'Aussies' think. Yes I know there are 'millions of aussies' but most of them piss me off and the other 'millions of aussies' are immigrants who don't piss me off. So obviously I'm going with the people who don't piss me off. Goddamn it Antipop, your comment is irritating! I didn't do it on purpose, in fact I was even reluctant to be friends with them. Perhaps I should write more about my non-Zimbabwean friends. Would you like to hear about the Italians? Danes? Lithuanians? Serbians? Welsh? English? Scottish? Irish? German? French? Saudi? Sri Lanka? Kenya? Eritrea? South African? Chinese? Japanese? Tibetan? Nepalese? Indian? Nigerian? Samoa? Maltese? Iraq? Iran? Afghanistan? Botswana? Egypt? Brazil? Korea? Sweden? Iceland? Norway? Czech? Ghana? Singapore? Thailand? Sudan? Finland? Poland? Russia? New Zealand? Islander? Palestine? So the Zimbabweans just happen to be the newest, literally only been in the country since March. Very new. You move to a new country you need friends from that country. Who else is going to be able to bail you out of jail at the crack of dawn and still be coherent enough to argue with the Police? It just so happens that out of the millions of Australians I happen to be amongst the nicest, isn't that a scary thought? I believe they call it 'approachability', so I have a lot of friends from other countries. I just happened to blog about the Zims because I'm still getting used to them. I could tell you about what I got up to last week with the Sri Lankans, but since those things were illegal I figured rice was more acceptable.

Hmph and now I've eaten all the mango flavoured tofu. I should have bought more.

And the blogroll is full of Ugandans because I was curious about Ugandans, since I waste money on one. It could have been full of Kenyans, but Kenyans scare me. And I don't want to be officially adopted. I'm happy skipping blithely from one country to another. And if I specifically sided with one country what would all my other friends do? I can't be Ugandan and Sri Lankan and Australian and Chinese and Danish all at once. I don't have enough limbs for everyone!

And one last thing. For Carlo and Antipop and Sybella and everyone else who keeps bringing this up. There is nothing going on with Rev and I. Honestly, we're just messing with you because we can and because it's fun. The only thing going on with us is that one day it occurred to us that posting at each other in other peoples comments was probably not that greatest idea. So we moved it to our respective inboxes. And there we scream, yell and rage at each other on all sorts of things. The last one was about Tibet and his stupid opinions and complete ignorance of Tibetan culture. And no, Rev is not Hunk. And no, despite what GUG may think, I won't be marrying Rev. Of all people. Oh and I know African men are lazy slobs, which is why I could never marry one. NOTHING WOULD EVER GET DONE! If we had children they'd starve to death because no one would ever feed them!

Which is why I'm going to marry a total neat freak (to clean) and who is also a chef (to feed me) and who is rich (for a nanny or boarding school) and I think this cuts out almost every single man except maybe someone from Berlin.

EDIT: Crap! I forgot the Philippines. Please, Kirsty, Caitlin, leave the pitchfork at home, I'm sorry.


  1. only fitting that i get socks on my own post.

  2. and here i was thinking the post was about how fabulous, hot, amazing,extar orinary i am! so amyway, that whole defensive thing you did about you and rev only goes to convince me that i was right afterall :-)

  3. Oh well you are fabulous, definitely hot, killer smile, I like your hair and extraordinary.

    Is there anyway I'm going to get out of this Rev thing? So our joke went a little too far, but there must be some way out of this thing we dug ourselves into!

  4. lol... antipop you are wicked. you are so right to have the socks...

    detamble, you are really riled up... we are also pulling your leg when we talk about you that way, okay? tis all good for you to love africans and rev, he is really lovable.

    now breathe in... and out... in again and out... feel any better now?

  5. @Sybella: She is wicked! Evil, cynical cow.

    *breathes* *in* *out* *in* *out* I. Feel. A. Little. Calmer. Now.

    It's okay, I'm also pulling your leg a little too :-)
    Okay yeah, so I do like Africans, except for Antipop. Maybe it's cause you tend to look like children, even when you're really old and hideous. Or 31337.

    And Rev ain't that loveable. If he had the money he'd be the next Hitler.

  6. oh she has a fucking bee in her bonnet! i have just seen the comment on my reader. toungue in cheek, and who said who had what designs on 3, tambs? amadioha forbid! mortified beyond belief.

    any more smart alec comments about me shall earn you right spanking young lady!

    *walks off in what he thinks is a dignified huff shaking his 'ead*

  7. So you like Ugandans huh!
    Gimme your posst joint and i shall forward you a one way ticket to allow you to go back2basics DeTambs...

    Dope post...
    Next Hitler
    African men... hmmn Just wait a bit...

  8. firs time here...sounds like u got stuff to get off ur chest...what are you, a tourist, how come u've been to so many places?

  9. @Tandra: Sorry for filling your comments with The Boondocks. I just happen to like his afro. And is it just me or is Granddad awfully White looking? PALE!

    @31337: Bzzzz. I didn't say nothing. You better not think it was me. You're old enough to be my Daddy. Shall I get the wooden spoon, or is a belt this time?

    @B2B: No, I don't like Ugandans. YOU ALL SUCK! Of course I'm joking, but what you said was a tad redundant, though I have heard that Ugandans do like to state the obvious. Now why are you working your name into everything? And I don't want to go back2basics, I'm happy here.

    @Frankie: Who you calling tourist? I've never been no damn tourist in my entire life! I hate tourists! With their stupid khaki clothes, and damn socks with sandals and for fucks sake! LEARN TO WASH YOUR FUCKING HAIR! And they's all fat, wobbly and pink! Well, American ones anyway. I haven't been to those places, well not all of them, I just meant I have friends from there. This being Australia and all...Land of Migrants. By the way, Welcome :D make yourself at home. Want some popcorn? You like the movie Madagascar?

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  11. ha,

    someone is riled.

    So, you's not going to get married to 27th? When I have already made the first approaches?

    Sister, remember my 6 brothers. 27th will join WHEN he is your brother. But we may have to beat you up to agree. You think we dont want the cows [and the car]? Bet on it we do.

    So, that rumour is chilled.

    So, lil sis, who riled you this bad? Antipop? Dont worry [soothingly], she's a bad one that one. You do not have to believe everything that you hear from her.

    I will start a rumour that she is marrying me for convenience, and to bear my children, and you will see how ballistic she will go...

    [out of here I fly...]


  12. And 27th hasn't commented here yet?? Maybe, he has in your inbox. Gooooo

    Detamble, I almost saw or felt the F off sign or u telling someoen to piss off as u wrote this post.

    But for what it's worth, Rev isn't lazy. And maybe he's neat and can whip up a good meal. Afterall, the Revence name sounds Germans...maybe he's from Berlin.

    And Aussie dudes here are gorg...Open your eyes.

  13. @GUG: So I'm not going to marry him. No. Though I do remember your/my/our 6 brothers. You're going to beat me up? Aiieee! FINE! I'll marry the bastard! You can have your damn cows [and car].

    Antipop is a bad one! She's evil! You go knock her up! Give her twins! Milk and Bananas.

    @Cheri: I thought he quit his job. Wouldn't that mean no internet? Yeah, the F sign was big and bold and flashing neon pink!

    But for what it's worth why are people taking it so seriously? I'm being quite honest, we really just bash each other with mad hatred. He made me cry! And that's not that easy to do. He's horrible. And no, he's not in my inbox. It's currently free of hate mail.

    OMG Aussie boys! I saw the most gorgeous one today! Tall, tanned, lean and muscular, blond. FUCK ME! SO HOT! I could have watched him forever. But I was walking past and he was playing catch with his dog, so I couldn't just stand around staring. My eyes are open. But you forget, I am also Australian, therefore my boys appeal isn't as great to me as say, the German boys. Or any foreign boys.

  14. Oh, he was playing with his dog...lay off him.

    That's a tell-tale sign.

  15. I'm confused. I have to lay off the Hot boy with the dog. Or I have to lay of ripping into Comrade? And what is a tell-tale sign to what? Dogs?

  16. You know, my best friend Lynda and you would make such a great duo. She's just as mean as you are. We learnt to love her a long time ago. And now I'm loving you too for your mean streak. I have a crush on Antipop so that doesn't count.

  17. Cheri? I is confused. Clear my mind. Puhlease.

    @Carlo: You mean Lynda is like me or like Antipop? And I have a little crush on Antipop too, but shhh, don't tell her!

  18. @ carlo and tambs, your asses are busted. but i can see where you guys are coming from. even I have a crush on antipop. wait thats me. oh well, i have a crush on me too. yea. oh, and i miss myself when i am sleeping. hmmmm sucks being me. being adored and glorified.........
    am taking this too far aren't I?

  19. @Cheri, Carlo: Don't you ever check back to see if people gone and asked you things? L.A.Z.Y!

    Damn, we outed. It's true, we just think you are the beez kneez. If you had a cock I'd offer to suck it. But since you don't I'll just satisfy myself by basking in the glory of your comments. You aren't taking it too far, with adoration like this there is no such thing as too far!

  20. tambs, u r just effing skunky! in a funny way. and i wil grow the thing...if you like

  21. I like. I like! And I can't help being effing skunky, I was raised by teenage boys.

  22. Raised by teenaged boys????

    Err, did you have sex with all of them?? No wonder you are so highly sexed.

    I's Gone

    [running for some cover...]