Got Rice?

I want to write. I want to tell someone what is going on, but half the things are secrets and the other half I don't understand.

I keep too many secrets. I've been writing them down recently and there are a lot. Odd things, little things, big things, I never told. Although I have actually told some, along the way I would tell a person. Just one, maybe two people. Random people. People who don't have a connection to my family. Do they still count as secrets if I have told a person? Are they then shared secrets? See GUG, this is why you think I am open, because I tell things, but it is a trick. If you tell someone something that most people would want to keep a secret then they think you are being honest. And if they think you are honest then they will never think you may be hiding something else, something more important, something that will get you screamed at and hurt.

Talking of shared secrets I made a plan, it's a nice plan, it contains just the right amount of long term complications. I've told some people what it is, well, I've told them little parts of it. Just small bits, I needed some advice plus it keeps them happy, makes them think they're special to be included. But I ommitted something, several things actually, but one really important fact. A really important fact that if this plan doesn't work I could actually be screwed for, well, not life, but a seriously long time!

So here's something that you may know and that my friends and family may not know. Part of my plan included a list of importance, and on that list food came in last. It's an interesting way to lose weight, though I'm not sure I wanted to. I'm not fat but I'm not exactly a stick either. My doctor says I'm the perfect weight. Not for long though. I look in the mirror and I can see my ribs, they don't poke through but I can still see them. And my shoulder blades, I haven't seen them looking that bony since I was eleven. I've lost 4kg in two weeks. I'm a little hungry. I only had $5 left so all I could afford was some rice. Thank goodness I'm going to visit my friend Bee tomorrow night. It's her 21st and we're all going over there to get wasted! And me, I'll be thieving food from her fridge. That's not to say I'm not appreciative of rice, 1cup has lasted me three days but I'm bored. As soon as I get paid again I'm going to buy some peas and tamari (soy sauce) to make the rice more entertaining for my taste buds. And some more rice. There was only that one cup left and it's all gone now, I'm hungry.